Why do humans struggle with conflict? Insights and reflections

1. Biological and Emotional Factors

• Fight-or-Flight Response: When faced with conflict, the body’s stress response can make people react emotionally rather than rationally, leading to defensive or aggressive behaviour.
• Ego and Self-Perception: Protecting one’s self-esteem or avoiding perceived threats to identity can result in rigid, unproductive responses.

2. Lack of Skills

• Poor Communication: Many people are not taught effective communication techniques, such as active listening, empathy, or assertiveness, which are essential for resolving conflicts constructively.
• Inability to Regulate Emotions: Without emotional intelligence, managing feelings like anger, frustration, or fear during conflict becomes challenging.

3. Cognitive Biases

• Confirmation Bias: People often seek information that supports their views, making it difficult to see the other side.
• Attribution Errors: Individuals may blame others’ behaviour on personal flaws (e.g., “They’re selfish”) while excusing their own as circumstantial (e.g., “I was stressed”).

4. Cultural Influences

• Avoidance Norms: In some cultures, avoiding conflict is preferred, leading to suppressed issues that later explode.
• Competitive Mindset: Other cultures prioritise winning over compromise, making resolution more difficult.

5. Social Dynamics

• Power Imbalances: Unequal power dynamics can make one party feel unheard or oppressed, escalating conflicts.
• Group Polarisation: Social groups can amplify division, reinforcing “us vs. them” dynamics that hinder resolution.

6. Fear of Vulnerability

• Revealing Weakness: Engaging openly in conflict may require admitting fault or expressing vulnerabilities, which many find uncomfortable.

7. Short-Term Thinking

• Focus on Immediate Outcomes: People often prioritise quick fixes or “winning” over finding long-term, mutually beneficial solutions.