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Why do humans struggle with conflict? Insights and reflections

  • Duncan Hogg | Certified Practitioner & Teacher, President | Sunshine Coast, Australia

By virtue of a family business I am involved with, I now occasionally use a form of AI called Chat GPT. I took the opportunity to ask the question, “Why do human beings have difficulty managing conflict?”. Below is the response to the question. I thought it worth the read.

“Human beings often struggle with managing conflict due to a combination of psychological, cultural, and social factors:

1. Biological and Emotional Factors

  • Fight-or-Flight Response: When faced with conflict, the body’s stress response can make people react emotionally rather than rationally, leading to defensive or aggressive behaviour.
  • Ego and Self-Perception: Protecting one’s self-esteem or avoiding perceived threats to identity can result in rigid, unproductive responses.


2. Lack of Skills

  • Poor Communication: Many people are not taught effective communication techniques, such as active listening, empathy, or assertiveness, which are essential for resolving conflicts constructively.
  • Inability to Regulate Emotions: Without emotional intelligence, managing feelings like anger, frustration, or fear during conflict becomes challenging.


3. Cognitive Biases

  • Confirmation Bias: People often seek information that supports their views, making it difficult to see the other side.
  • Attribution Errors: Individuals may blame others’ behaviour on personal flaws (e.g., “They’re selfish”) while excusing their own as circumstantial (e.g., “I was stressed”).


4. Cultural Influences

  • Avoidance Norms: In some cultures, avoiding conflict is preferred, leading to suppressed issues that later explode.
  • Competitive Mindset: Other cultures prioritise winning over compromise, making resolution more difficult.


5. Social Dynamics

  • Power Imbalances: Unequal power dynamics can make one party feel unheard or oppressed, escalating conflicts.
  • Group Polarisation: Social groups can amplify division, reinforcing “us vs. them” dynamics that hinder resolution.


6. Fear of Vulnerability

  • Revealing Weakness: Engaging openly in conflict may require admitting fault or expressing vulnerabilities, which many find uncomfortable.


7. Short-Term Thinking

  • Focus on Immediate Outcomes: People often prioritise quick fixes or “winning” over finding long-term, mutually beneficial solutions.

How to Improve Conflict Management:

  • Cultivate Emotional Intelligence: Learn to recognise and regulate emotions in yourself and others.
  • Practice Active Listening: Focus on understanding, not just responding.
  • Embrace Empathy: Try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective.
  • Develop Problem-Solving Skills: Shift from blame to collaboration in finding solutions.
  • Seek Training: Workshops or literature on conflict resolution techniques can provide valuable tools.


Conflict is a natural part of human interaction, and improving these areas can help individuals manage it more effectively.” (End of ChatGPT response.)

I also recently heard in a podcast the phrase, “All behaviour makes sense with enough information.” I thought about this as it relates to bodywork and thought about something Don McFarland (the founder of Body Harmony) had once told me and others in a class. Ida Rolf, very late in her remarkable career, stated after working with a client, “I just don’t know enough about this (client’s) tissue.” I think that all holding in a body makes sense with enough information. And this makes me think about appreciation. Appreciation is the key, I think, to a meaningful response  to the conflicts embodied in to the workings of our human bodies. 

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Important update

International Conference 2026 cancelled.

The Body Harmony Association has made the difficult decision to cancel the Zutphen conference planned for June 2026.

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